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Interview with the Cultist

"Interview with the Cultist"
Parody of "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton
New Lyrics by Abbey Spracklin

This was a triumph!
We're one step closer to the end.
It's hard to overstate my exultation!
We are the Chosen:
We do what we must while we still can.
If we're lucky, all of us
Will be the ones who are dead...

When the stars all line up in their wonderful shape
Then for all humanity there'll be no escape
As strange eons go by
Even death itself may die
But the Great Old Ones are still alive

I'm not even crazy
I'm thinking really clear right now -
Even though He broke my brain and filled me
With terror and loathing
And baptized my soul in cosmic fire...
As it burned it hurt beyond
What sanity can go through.

Now this trail of virgin blood's a beautiful curve
Tracing out Al-Hazred's sign for Him who I serve.
Though I might be a pawn to the Necronomicon
'Til He rises I'll be still alive.

Go now and leave me
I have more work to do inside.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh R'lyeh wgah'nagl
Cthulhu fhtagn!
That was no joke! Ha ha! HE COMES!
Go ahead and run away
If you think you can survive...

Look at me still talking; I've a ritual due.
If you stay and help me it'll be good for you!
I've a sacrifice to run, there is magic to be done
While there's people who are still alive.

And Cthulu, He is still alive
Dooming anyone who's still alive
When he wakes no-one will be alive
He's coming closer and you're still alive
And when I'm dead you will be still alive
Still alive

still alive


An orchestral science-fictiony piece, suitable (if it had had a real orchestra behind it, instead of just my fingers) for the theme song of a movie or TV show.

Yeah, I know, that's two songs, but I like nebulae.

Dance of the Nebula

A futuristic Celtic-style song. This is what happens when you shoot a traditional Irish band into space. Inspired in part by the song, "Dance of the Mist" - hence the name.

Bury Me Quick

This is my interpretation - to my knowledge, the only one actually recorded - of the Underhill Drinking song from Algus Underdunk`s story, "Barbados Boomgarten: Under the Dead", a happy minor-key bouncy dirge drinking song. Wow, this is old now. but I still like it.

Bomb Scare II

Intended for a class project which happened to include a parody of 'Unsolved Mysteries'. The name is based on where this kind of music is usually used these days - on CNN and FOX when they talk about the 'axis of evil' and such concepts.

Edward Teach

A quick hornpipe made by jamming with myself years ago, and named after the world's most famous buccaneer.
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